I woke up with an emotional hangover as result of being slapped yesterday, and from going back and reading the posts I wrote immediately following B's death when I searched them out to link to.
I suppose that I should have reiterated in that post that JR and B had been estranged for a couple of years preceding his death, and I'm guessing that's why Maggie chose to "punish" me by excluding my name from the list of mourners. Sad.
Then, after JR left for work, and I was struggling to shake the cobwebs from my head and move on about my day, there was a terrific crash from the backyard. I went outside and this is what I saw:
I sat in the wet grass and cried.
There were chairs. There were chairs RIGHT THERE, but it didn't even occur to me to go and sit in one of them. I stood in my backyard in the place where I screeched to a shocked halt, laughing like an absolute lunatic until I sat down and I cried.
Not about the umbrella, or not JUST about the umbrella. About the umbrella, about B, about how long it is taking us to make any progress on the adoption, about the bill I got in the mail yesterday from a county that thinks that $428 is a reasonable amount to charge for a tag on a Nissan Altima, about our pediatrician's office changing their policy regarding immunization forms without actually, you know, NOTIFYING anyone, about how my parents are coming to stay with us tomorrow, and my in-laws are coming on Saturday so that we can all have brunch under THAT umbrella, at THAT table because the backyard is the only room in my house that can accommodate 7 people and about how Grasshopper is peeing in his pants again, now a week before school (for which he must be potty-trained) starts, and...yeah. About nothing and everything and just how utterly overwhelmed I feel.
Today is Not A Good Day.
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10 comments:
Nat, I don't think I've ever commented on your Blog before, although, I read every single one. I just felt like commenting today because I can tell you need a shoulder. Please put your trust in the Lord and give your worries to him. He will handle all for you. Sometimes when life seems to be too much, there are smaller things in life to hold it together for you. Just know that I was thinkin' about you and relating to your day. We all have days like today. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forever. Everything will work itself out. Always does!
I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this day, which is probably already over, better for you. I can't though. The only thing I can do is offer a virtual shoulder and a hug. Lots and lots of hugs. My email is always open if you need something.
oh, dear. Your day did suck. I'm so sorry. We once had a storm that made our patio table crash and the glass top split into a million tiny pieces. It was AWFUL to clean up. Today sucked. Tomorrow will be better, huh? chin up. hugs.
Some days are just heavy. I think your husband's cousin would be sad his friend acted the way she did in leaving you out. Your adoption will come as soon as the time is right-your special little person may have some unfinished business before he or she can be all yours.
I am not sure how you trained Grasshopper-maybe you can offer him a reward for a dry week? I just trained my little guy and his motivator is marshmellows. I also beleive that once my guy has been trained for a while if he has an accident, I am making him responsible for the cleanup/changing his clothes, etc. And hopefully that will be a deterant.
Ohhh Natasha :[ I am so sorry to read about all of this weighing down on you. Sometimes life just beats us down and it's so, so hard to get back up. Many e-hugs and love from Canada.
oh Natasha, I am so sorry. what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. being overwhelmed feels oh so shitty. but hey, thankfully the sun sets, the day ends, and a new one arrives tomorrow--may it be a much much better one for you.
*hugs*
Sorry about everything. We had a tree limb fall on a glass patio table 7.5 years ago. I am STILL finding the shards in our yard, just a couple a year now, but still...
I have no advice on the potty front and if I did you'd probably be best off doing the exact opposite of what I said anyway. J's teacher wants her to come to school in underpants on the first day even though she's not trained at all. That will be fun. I will stuff as many changes of clothes as I can into her cubby.
Oh, Natasha. I'm so sorry. Life isn't meant to be easy, but that doesn't mean that it has to dump everything on you at once. I know how it feels to be left out. I was the only family member left out of an obituary when my father-in-law passed away. It stung. And I'm so sorry that it happened to you. Hugs!
Next week? Next week will be great.
Oh geez. I've had those days. When everything hits at once and it just gets too much. I hope things have settled down for you by now.
I'm so sorry I didn't see this earlier. Not that anything I could have said or done would have made the day better... I hope your day got better and you had a lovely time with the family. Table or no, family can (usually) make us feel better.
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