Tuesday, July 7, 2009

An Adoption Day Miracle

JR and I have wanted, for as long as there has been a JR and I, to parent two children. When we were engaged, we planned to accommodate my desire to experience pregnancy and child birth, and our mutual desire to adopt a child by doing both. One child born of my body, one child born of our hearts.

It became clear after a time spent in unexplained miscarriage hell that both of our children were going to be born of our hearts, and that was more than okay with us. We just wanted to be parents. Within a few short months, with the addition of Grasshopper to our household, we were.

Then, we went through adoption hell trying to add members of Grasshopper's birthfamily to our family.

After those two "failed adoptions" the money to adopt was gone. We have the means to raise another child, but not the means to bring another child home.

And so we planned. And we worked. And we asked for your help.

And then, although I haven't talked about it here, we gave up. I am crying now typing those words, because I'm ashamed to admit it to all of you who have supported us with your money, your time, and your kind words, but the truth is, we gave up.

I checked out books from the library about Parenting Your Only Child, and My One and Only: A Parent's Guide. My eyes welled up every time I tried to sing "You Are my Sunshine" to Grasshopper (a song I have sung to him since the day we met) because I would stumble over, "My only sunshine."

I went so far as to email a very wise and generous blogger named Rita about her decision to parent just one child in an effort to embrace our family of three. The thing that stuck out for me in her incredible response was when she said that she looked around one day and realized that her whole family was already in place. I PRAYED with everything in me to have that sort of an epiphany, but none came.

Instead, an angel came to us via the internet and answered the larger prayer, the prayer that we had stopped praying. She offered to complete our family.

I have no words for how I felt when she contacted me, on Adoption Day, to say that if we would complete our homestudy, and pay for our travel expenses and legal fees, (our hard work and your generosity are allowing us to do that), then she would finance our adoption of an infant here in the US.

Before the week was out, I had spent over an hour on the phone with a very special adoption agency, who said that they understood the place of fear and loss that we were coming from regarding domestic adoption and assured us that they would honor our request to only be "introduced" to birthmothers who had already given birth to, and signed over, their child. Who assured us that our angel was very, very real and that they had the documents and substantiation of funds in place. That we would never receive a bill from them.

I have been trying to write this post ever since. My tears and my awe have kept getting in the way.

But now I've spent the day filling out forms and the evening organizing my laundry room because a social worker will be here, in my house, on Friday to make sure that we have a safe environment and to begin to determine our fitness as parents. It's real, y'all.

It's really, really real.

We still have a lot of ground to cover, before we're able to dive into the deep end of the adoption pool once more, but I'm standing on that first step. My toes are wet, and I know now that angels are real, and mine won't let me drown.

19 comments:

Sandi said...

You gave me the chills. I LOVE adoption! Congrats on wetting your feet. I can't wait to follow along.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

What wonderful news...congratulations! I'm crying as I type this...just wonderful! So happy for all of you and, of course, the new one to come.

Tatiana said...

Ohh Natasha, I couldn't be happier for you. It's alright that you gave up; sometimes we have to hit the lows to realize how precious the highs are. You're only human, don't beat yourself up.

I really hope this works out for you. I would love to read about Grasshopper's little sibling.

lonek8 said...

I am happy beyond words that you will soon be able to bring another baby of your heart into your home. As an only I child I can vouch for the experience of growing up without siblings and assure you that your grasshopper would never feel anything but love and companionship from you and your husband. But as the mother of several children, I can also fully understand the unrest that can come from feeling you family is incomplete. I pray that things progress swiftly and smoothly until your family of four is together.

Jen said...

that is great news! the BEST news! I am so insanely thrilled for you! your new addition is already such a lucky kid to be welcomed into your family! ack! hooray! :)

Brandon said...

Natasha- I'm so happy for you and your family. You will bless the life of your baby that is coming. Good luck on the journey and keep us all posted.

Manic Mommy said...

I have tears in my eyes for you! This is such wonderful, miraculous news! So very, very happy for your family! I can't wait to hear all about it!

Mama Goose said...

Oh my!! What incredible news!! My whole body is tingling and I'm choking back tears of joy for you!! How absolutely wonderful this is.

natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

I just need to say, thank you, EVERYONE for your kind words.

I am crying tears of joy and feeling so damn loved and so damn lucky.

NO ONE PINCH ME!

Rita Arens said...

OH MY GOD! I am so happy for you! What a blessing! What a wonderful angel!

dsj2890 said...

!!! Yay!!! Aww natasha I'm so happy for you!!!

~ur cousin, dj~

Jenny said...

congratulations, nothing better than adoption stories and beginnings!

from another adoptive mom-Jenny

andreaberg said...

A Very huge congratulations to you, your husband and grasshopper. I am so happy for your family! I hope there are no bumps on this road!

StephLove said...

Oh, Natasha. My fingers are crossed you don't have to wait much longer.

Funnyrunner said...

Oh, Natasha. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Warmest, warmest congratulations and a HUGE hug to you, Grasshopper and JR. I am so, so excited to read about your journey. Please keep us updated! Wow!

Atlanta Mommy said...

Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH!!!! That's fantastic. What wonderful news. So very excited for you!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Oh what a miracle! I am soooo happy for you. And I will be holding ALL of you in the light (with a little extra squeeze for the birth mother). xoxoxox

Stacey said...

aw, now i'm all choked up!
i am so very happy for you and look forward to hearing more as you embark on your miraculous journey to being a family of FOUR.

so so so happy for you. congratulations.

NIW said...

As an adopted person, I want to say that you are giving this child the most important gift imaginable. I salute you, and wish you and your baby much happiness.