Grasshopper was having a tough day yesterday. It was raining, he didn't have school, and Mommy needed to run ERRANDS. The horror.
He was pretty good through stops at CVS and the UPS Store, but wanted to get out of the cart, have every shiny thing that caught his eye, and most importantly "GO PLAY PARK!". Which is just not an option in the pouring rain.
By the time that we were heading to Daddy's office for lunch and to ooh and aah over the partners' new baby, I was considering an 11:30 AM martini.
When we got there JR was frantically putting out those fires that only pop up on days when you have plans to go to lunch with your wife and kid, both of whom are staring daggers at each other. (not very mature of me, I realize, but the truth none the less.)
He and I were trying to keep Grasshopper contained to his office so that he wouldn't destroy the entire corporate offices in his hyper-active madness. JR repeatedly told Grasshopper that he was not allowed to touch his desk or computer and physically removed him from the area several times. I picked him up and showed Grasshopper all of the pictures of him that JR keeps in his office, and let him flip through all of the pages of JR's wall calendar in an effort to keep him busy while JR was handling the virtual fire extinguisher.
Eventually though, my arms wore out. And I had to set Grasshopper down. Just then, JR's partner walked in with her new baby girl and JR and I were distracted. Grasshopper seized the opportunity, and the next thing we know, JR's keyboard tray is no longer attached to his desk. It is on the floor with the keyboard, mouse and a screaming Grasshopper.
This set the baby to screaming and her mother beat a hasty retreat. I ascertained that Grasshopper wasn't injured, just scared by the loud CRASH that occurred when he separated the keyboard tray from the desk and stuck him in the corner for a time-out.
The phone was ringing, JR's email was beeping, Grasshopper was screaming at the injustice of time-out and we decided that the drive-through made the most sense for lunch. I made Grasshopper apologize to Daddy for breaking his desk and then we quickly headed to the nearest McDonalds. Once we got the requisite McNuggets I headed back toward the corporate offices and when we got close enough I slowed down so that JR could bail. Then Grasshopper and I headed home for a much-anticipated (by me, of course) nap.
Later that evening, my mother called and I put Grasshopper on the phone to talk with her. "What did you do today Grasshopper?" she asks. Grasshopper smiles a very smug smile and announces proudly, "I broke Daddy's desk!"