Thursday, January 1, 2009

Scattered

I have once again taken up residence on Mom Street, and it's good to be home.

The holidays were wonderful, and we thoroughly enjoyed our time spent with family that we see all too seldom. But as always happens, there were dramas large and small. There were expectations surpassed and expectations never met. There were things to weep happy tears over, and things to rage about. All of which I feel I cannot detail here.

So now we're home. And much like our sandy luggage, I'm feeling scattered. I don't know if it was being in three places between Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, or just the End of the Year melancholy I am prone to; I just don't feel like I have it together. Not only is my head not screwed on straight, but I'm not even sure I can locate it. Perhaps Grasshopper buried it in the sand like he did so many of his things this past week. And perhaps like him I did not recognize it's value until it went missing.

You see I had high hopes for 2008, and my biggest hope of all, Becoming a Parent Again, well, it didn't happen. And I'm not sure that I have the resources (both literally and figuratively) to believe that it might happen in 2009.

So do I set new goals or dust off the old ones? Do I reach again for the stars or content myself with a high tree branch? Do I try to find my head or try to figure out what's in my heart, first?

1 comment:

nuzzie said...

Welcome home and happy new year. I completely sympathize with your meloncholy and scattered thoughts...perhaps you might follow my mantra: a stiff drink and early to bed helps a mommy clear her head ;-)
Wishing you a peaceful and happy happy 2009. I'll look forward to reading more from you.