Monday, December 22, 2008

How to Spoil a Child: a Handy Holiday Guide

Step 1) Take one very adorable and precocious child, age 2 1/2.

Step 2) Add equal parts Only Child, Only Grandchild (on one side), Only Grandchild under the age of 19 (on the other side), Only Great-Grandchild, and Only Great-Nephew.

Step 3) Mix in lots of time spent visiting the Bouncy Place, having playdates and eating home-baked goodies.

Step 4) Buy the child lots of gifts.

And stocking stuffers (because those are a totally different category and not subject to "Stop the insanity he doesn't need any more stuff!")

Apparently.

Step 5) Shower said child with love, attention and praise. Every waking moment. And some moments while he's sleeping.

Step 6) Take him to the beach for a week with both sets of Grandparents and the doting Aunts and Uncles.

Step 7) Shudder in abject fear at the idea of what he's going to be like when you return home.

To the real world.

Where Daddy goes to work and an audience does not applaud everything the gorgeous child does.

Step 8) Drink some eggnog (with bourbon) and remember that real life is almost 2 weeks away!

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The residents of Mom Street would like to wish you and your family a magical and joyous holiday. The beach house does not have wireless internet (the horror!) so we will be back with fun and exciting tales in 2009 (!).

Also, to anyone thinking that now would be an excellent time to rob the residents of Mom Street, please keep in mind that while we may be on vacation, Brinks Home Security is not.

3 comments:

Nan said...

Found you through Soper - Hello!

Except for the part about the vacation at the beach (bummer for me!), you could be talking about my family. I've warned all adoring relatives that Newton's laws (with my twist) apply here - for every toy that comes in, there's an equal and opposite toy that must go out. Somehow it doesn't work though - it just takes one little grin and the pile grows!

Dysd Housewife said...

I can't even get my car out of the driveway there is so much snow. NO worries of beachiness here LOL - Merry Christmas!

draletta said...

Enjoy your break and happy holidays!