Friday, December 18, 2009

Is it even possible... have a Perfect Christmas?

I don't think that it is.

I mean it can be perfect for SOME members of the family, but I just don't see how it can be perfect for everyone. I've tried to make it such (bear with me, I realize that the Big Day isn't even here yet, really, I do) but I'm wondering if it's not a lost cause.

Because Grasshopper, well Grasshopper is having the The Advent Train has been a huge hit, and he greets me each morning with, "It time to open anover door on a Advent Twain, Mommy!" He has loved every single thing that we've done, from the small holiday crafts to the huge extravaganza of Christmas lights and most recently The Nutcracker Ballet, "There were RATS and dey was huwge! And da Rat King, him got DEAD!"

And I have loved making these memories with him each and every day.

It has put me more deeply in touch with why the Christmas season is so special to me because I see the roots of that growing in my own child. I imagine him making gingerbread waffles with his own kid 30 years from now and my heart feels like it's liable to burst.

But the exhaustion. Oh my word, the exhaustion.

I don't know how to make things perfect for my boy, easy for my over-worked husband and festive for my friends and other family members without burning myself completely out.

I haven't worked out in weeks. I haven't headed downstairs with a clear head in the morning in ages. I barely sleep. I'm waking up in the middle of the night ticking off lists of cards that still need addressing, teacher gifts that still need buying and ingredient lists for cookies that still need baking.

I haven't logged into Blogger or Google Reader in WEEKS. I have no idea what's happening in all of your lives(unless we're Facebook friends, which if we're not, why aren't we?), and it sucks. I WANT to know how you and your families are fairing. I hate feeling so out of my little bloggy loop. I haven't been on Twitter in 2 months and I wonder who will still care about what I might have to say when I find the time to log on again.

I love this season. I'm having a great time making Grasshopper's one and only Christmas as a three-and-a-half-year-old as memorable for him (and for JR and I) as possible.

I just haven't figured out how to do it and still find time for myself. Maybe THAT'S the true Miracle of Christmas.


Dyar Baby Momma said...

We miss you on twitter! But understand as well - life has been crazy.

I am hoping that maybe in the New Year we can have an adult lunch together. :)

FollowMeDown30 said...

Just remember-it does not have to be perfect. Just memorable. Your son and family are lucky to have you Natasha.

I. Heller said...

Is there anything you can skip or delegate? You have relatives nearby -- ask them! Ask me! Send an e-mail instead of a xmas card to some folks? I would not have minded! Skip the teacher gifts or just go with a gift card! Get the cookies at Publix or ask me to do it! YOU do not have to do it all! -- I. Heller

lonek8 said...

we'll still be here when you back to a regular schedule. And keep in mind that Grasshopper will still think Christmas is perfect even if you don't do everything there is to do! Have a little fun yourself! Merry Christmas

Karen Chatters said...

I love what you're doing for Grasshopper. He's going to look back in 25 years and his heart is going to burst when he realizes all you've done for him.

Remember, we don't have to be super human. Do what you can. Do what you WANT. And all the rest, it'll be fine.

StephLove said...

I think I am enjoying Christmas preparations more this year than last (maybe because I am not sick with a debilitating upper respiratory infection like last year) but it's still hard. I'm finding helping J buy presents for people maddening, as you will learn when you get back to reading blogs.

I hope things calm down for you soon and as others have said, you can't do it all. Do what you find most rewarding or meaningful. (Not that I always manage to follow this advice myself, but it sounds wise, doesn't it?) Anyway, Merry Christmas to you and yours!